What is the “dress code”?
Generally, casual is appropriate.
What shall I bring?
Check with your host if you can bring something to go with dinner.
Is it OK to cancel after I have accepted an invitation?
Unless sickness or a personal emergency arises, it is impolite to change your mind. Your hosts may be “trying out” cross-cultural exchange for the first time. Thus, the cancellation would not make a good impression on them.
What is expected of me in the home?
- At the dinner table, it is polite to ask for “seconds” – it flatters the cook! If they ask if you would like seconds (adding any one or more of the available foods to your plate a second time), and you say “no, thank you” (because it is polite in your culture), realize that the host will almost never ask again. They will not force it.
- In American homes, people generally pass the various plates of food to one another. Each person “helps himself”. So be ready to pass a dish of food if it is closer to you than to the person who is asking, and also ask to have food passed to you, e.g. “please, pass the potatoes”.
- You may be asked questions about your culture or where you grew up.
- Most hosts will appreciate your questions too since people like to talk about themselves (not salary, age, or family difficulty, however). If you are really brave, try one of these questions with other guests:
- Tell me about where you grew up and what it was like.
- What is one important lesson that you have learned in your life?
- What was the greatest time of joy in your life?
- Who were/are your favorite relatives? Do you remember any of the stories they used to tell you?
- What has been your favorite family tradition?
What might I expect of my hosts?
You may meet other family members than just your hosts (e.g. sons, daughters, sisters, or brothers). Often members of households offer a prayer to God before beginning to eat. You may listen politely or join in! Don’t be surprised to discover a house pet – a dog or a cat, for example.
Should I offer to help prepare dinner or wash dishes afterward?
Yes, you may politely offer to help. Often your hosts will enjoy talking with you while you work together in the kitchen. This is an easy and informal way to get to know each other better. Many hosts, however, will simply say, “No, thank you,” after you offer help, and you will not be expected to help. Expectations differ significantly between families.
What about seating at the dinner?
It is polite to wait for your host to instruct about seating. If your host has children, they may be very excited about having you sit next to them.